I’ve been struggling with feeling ugly physically. Because of it, I’ve made makeup an idol in my life and am so self-conscious about the way I look. I have been called ugly by guys and even some family members. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see someone who is beautiful or feminine. This struggle is affecting my relationship with the Lord, and I don’t know how to stop being so obsessed and insecure about the way I look.
answered by: Cristina M. | colorado, USA
I love that God is a God of beauty and creativity and that we are given the privilege and desire of reflecting that, inside and out. However, apart from Christ we will never feel “beautiful enough.” That’s why the answer is not seeking your own beauty, but in seeking to see His. Psalm 27:4 says that the one thing the psalmist wanted was to dwell in the presence of God, meditate upon Him, and behold His beauty. When we learn to delight in Christ’s beauty and glory and seek to make it known to others, our own will no longer be a focus or obsession. You will be free to rejoice in the fact that you are cherished and beautiful — not because of anything about you, but because of who He is and who He has declared you to be in Him. When you live in that precious reality, no one else’s opinion of you will matter.
So, know Him. Take those hours spent in front of the mirror and spend them with Him. You will find that there truly is nothing more satisfying or full of joy. Learn to approach people thinking, How can I bless and point them to Jesus?, instead of wondering what they think of you. When you’re tempted with self-focused thoughts, have truth about Christ ready to meditate on instead. Be asking Him to continually turn the gaze of your heart to Himself and choose to fix your eyes on Him alone.
answered by: Morgan O. |Washington, USA
That must be exhausting – trying to win the approval of those around you but not really getting anywhere! You’re looking for the answer in the wrong place. No matter what the issue is, we can so easily get caught up in the vortex of focusing on fixing the issue itself, and lose Christ’s perspective. Take a moment and back up — do you want to be beautiful for your acceptance or for Christ’s glory? The root of your question is not if it’s okay to want to be beautiful. The real question is whether you are after Christ’s glory or your own? Psalm 149:4 says, “For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation.” God’s end is not to make you physically beautiful — it’s salvation that makes someone radiate with the glory of God. When I realize that I am emphasizing something God is not emphasizing, then I have to take a step back and retrain my thinking with an eternal perspective. You won’t stop seeking an earthly beauty until your desire for heavenly beauty is kindled. Feast on heavenly beauty and physical beauty simply can’t compare, both your own or others’.
answered by Sarah M. | Colorado, USA
Whenever I find myself in a mindset of self-focus and self-pity, this is what always brings me out: intentional communion with Jesus … real, moment-by-moment consciousness of His presence. Did you know that if you’re always thinking about Him, talking to Him, taking your problems and your joys to Him, and making yourself fully available for His work, you will soon forget about yourself? It is the woman who is satisfied in the presence of God who is the most joyful and the most beautiful. True beauty does not come from the way you look. Yes, we have been given tools to help ourselves along, but when it comes down to it, it is the one who is in love with Jesus Christ every moment that God will use to capture the souls of others. Your identity is not in what you think of yourself, or in what others think of you, but in Christ. Every moment, at church, at home, wherever you are, give yourself to Him and ask Him, “How would you have me be right now?” It will be there that everything will fade into the glorious reality that He is, and He is yours.