Learning to Not Lose Heart
By DAWN VOSKUIL
Recently, I went out for ice cream with my daughter and her children. As we were enjoying the tasty treat, my two-year-old grandson noticed my phone peeking out of the front pocket of my purse. He turned to his mom and asked, “Trac’ors Mammaw’s phone, p’ease?”
My daughter replied, “Finish your ice cream first.”
As we chatted, my grandson nibbled at his ice cream, but his eyes were focused on me. As soon as I finished my ice cream, he asked again, “Trac’ors Mammaw’s phone, p’ease?”
His mom repeated, with emphasis, “Finish your ice cream first.”
He shoved two more big bites of ice cream in his mouth, pushed the dish aside, and asked again, “Trac’ors Mammaw’s phone, p’ease?”
This time my daughter said, “Yes, now you may watch a tractor video on Grandma’s phone.”
A moment later, as I searched the internet and found a short, child-appropriate video about tractors, my grandson settled into my lap and stared with glee at what was happening on the screen of my phone.
When Jesus walked the Earth, there were no tractors, grandmothers didn’t have smartphones, the internet didn’t exist, and I don’t think they even had anything like ice cream. But Jesus, the Good Teacher, used readily available illustrations. In the following parable, Jesus told a story to help His audience learn an important lesson about a significant aspect of asking His Father for what they would like to have.
[Jesus] spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’” Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily.” Luke 18:1–8
Persistence and Consistency
In this parable, Jesus instructed us to be both faithful and persistent in our prayers. Likewise, the Apostle Paul exhorts us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17), making prayer a consistent part of our lives. Neither Jesus nor Paul taught that we should attempt to use prayer to manipulate God into doing what we want. Instead, we are encouraged not to give up on specific prayers when God doesn’t respond as quickly as we expect.
Continuing to appeal to God through prayer is advantageous in refining our requests. It helps us discover specifically what we desire from God and how much we need it. Perseverance in prayer increases our spiritual fortitude and affirms our faith in God.
Persistence and Faith
Persistent prayer is all about faith, not human effort. If answered prayers were about the amount of exertion we put in, Christian prayer would be no different from that of the pagan prophets mentioned in 1 Kings 18:20–40. All day, the prophets of Baal cried out loudly to their god, limped around the altar, and cut themselves in a show of their earnestness — but to no avail. Conversely, Elijah prayed in faith against all odds, asking the Lord for a specific action to glorify God and bring others into a right relationship with Him. That prayer was answered miraculously and powerfully.
It is Elijah, not the self-harming and incessant prophets of Baal, who is later held up as an example for us in prayer in the Word of God. (See James 5:16–18.) Elijah wasn’t a superhero; he was human like us, but he believed that the Lord could and would answer specific, God-honoring prayers of faith. Elijah was a man of faithful, persistent prayer. It was through the consistency of his prayer life that Elijah learned to rely on God’s character and to continue praying boldly.
Persistence and Dependency
The Christian life is all about dependency. Prayer is just one more area in which we need God’s help. The purpose of prayer is to discover what God desires. The more time we spend in prayer, the better we get to know God, realize how much He loves us, and understand that His will is best for us. The more we converse with God, the more we discover that He is not at all like the unrighteous judge in Jesus’ parable. According to Jesus, His Father is the exact opposite.
Jesus said His Father would speedily answer the prayers of His children who faithfully and persistently pray. According to Jesus, God isn’t wasting time getting around to answering prayers. So why, then, does it sometimes seem that our specific, God-honoring, faith-filled, consistent prayers presented to a loving, able God sometimes go unanswered? Let’s identify some key reasons why this might be the case.
Reasons Persistence is Necessary
The time isn’t right.
A child may ask for a cookie before dinner. Cookies could be readily available, yet the father may still deny the child’s request. It is not that the cookie is bad or that it would not delight the child. It is because eating a cookie before dinner is not the right time. A wise father knows that a cookie before a meal will prevent the child from receiving the nutrition the meal provides. He also knows that the anticipation of a cookie after dinner will encourage the child to eat what is required. Then, after dinner, the child can ask for a cookie, and it can be given to everyone’s delight.
We may be asking faithfully and persistently for something good, but now is not the best time for that prayer to be fulfilled. Or what we are praying for may already be in the works; we have no way of knowing how long it will take to bring that request to fruition. God’s perspective is perfect; ours is limited.
We are not right.
We could be deceived. We might think our faith-filled, consistent prayers are God-glorifying, but in reality according to God’s perfect assessment, they are really selfish and harmful.
Every decision God makes is out of love and is in the best interest of His children. God will not answer prayers that harm us or others. No matter how much a toddler may plead for permission to play in the busy street, a wise and loving parent will not comply. No matter how much a child may think playing with a loaded gun would be fun, a rational and attentive parent will keep it unloaded and out of reach. No matter how much a teenager may be addicted to practicing self-harm or using illegal substances, a sensible and devoted parent will continue to set boundaries and come to the rescue.
God will not answer prayers that will harm our relationship with Him. Some things that seem good on the surface can become addictions or distractions that drive us away from God. God does not want anything inferior to take His place in our lives.
Likewise, there could be unconfessed sin in our lives blocking our prayers from being answered. (See Psalm 66:18.) God is so opposed to sin that He gave everything He could to make sure it was eradicated from His people. Do you think that, after all Jesus went through to free us from sin, God will reward us if we refuse to part with our sins? We cannot nurture known sin and expect God to give us what we ask. We cannot treat others poorly and expect God to act on our behalf.
Remaining faithful in prayer helps us discover deception and unconfessed sin. It is in always praying and not losing heart that we can repent and get right with God. And it is in praying persistently that we learn to ask what is in accordance with God’s will.
We are not thankful.
Another reason answers to our prayers may be long in coming is that we haven’t been thankful for the favorable answers God has already given. Or maybe we have little appreciation for all the amazing things God has done for us, which we didn’t even think to ask for.
Thanksgiving helps us remember the prayers that God has answered — many of them above, beyond, and better than we asked. Being grateful gives us hope that God will continue to answer our prayers. And thanksgiving honors the God who is so willing to bless us. If we persistently pray about everything — little things and big — we will likely see answers every day and have much to be grateful for.
Something better is in the works.
Another reason our prayers may not be answered as we would anticipate is that God has something much better planned than what we are asking for.
Many years ago, when my children were young, I was wrapping Christmas gifts for members of our extended family. My children weren’t very interested; everything they thought was exciting was already wrapped and under the tree. But the project did yield many enticing “treasures.” My son discovered some things among the mess that sparked his creative imagination. He grabbed some Styrofoam and cardboard and set about making a football helmet. He soon discovered the task was more difficult than he had expected and asked me for assistance. But I refused, and he got frustrated with me.
Though he interpreted it as such, my refusal had nothing to do with my selfishness. I didn’t ignore his request because of a lack of ability, time, or love for him. I didn’t decline to help because I didn’t appreciate that he would love a football helmet. I refused because under the Christmas tree was a package for him containing a child-sized football helmet, jersey, and a pair of football pants decorated with his favorite team’s colors and emblem. I didn’t help him make a football helmet out of the garbage because I had already purchased something better for him.
Often, God makes us wait for our prayers to be answered because He has something better planned. When He doesn’t act immediately, we tend to think He doesn’t care or isn’t able to fulfill our request, but all the while He is planning something beyond our wildest dreams. We miss out on experiencing all God has planned when we refuse to trust Him and wait for His best.
There is spiritual interference.
Sometimes, even though the time is right and we are right, the answers to our specific, God-honoring, faith-filled prayers don’t come right away. We may be praying exactly what God would have us pray, but the answer is delayed. That may mean something in the spiritual realm is keeping our requests from being honored quickly.
Daniel, a devout man of prayer, had been fasting and agonizing in prayer for three weeks, unable to understand why it was taking so long for his prayer to be answered. Finally, an angel appeared to him and explained that Daniel’s prayers had been heard the moment he prayed, but a 21-day contest in the spiritual realms prevented the answer from coming sooner. (See Daniel 10:12–14.) Angels may never explain to us the spiritual struggle that ensued in response to any of our prayers, but that doesn’t mean spiritual warfare wasn’t the problem.
Persistence and Submission
Faithful, persistent prayer maintains a relationship of reliance with God. Jesus would, as often as possible, withdraw into the wilderness to pray. (See Luke 5:16.) Jesus, as the Son of God, having spent eternity past in constant communion with the Father and the Holy Spirit, knew that prayer was the only way He could continue in this perfect fellowship while He was here on earth. If Jesus needed to remain in constant, compliant communication with God, how much more do we?
In the Garden of Gethsemane, on that night before He was crucified, Jesus agonized in prayer asking three times, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will” (Mark 14:36). Then Jesus got up from His knees in the strength He gained from communicating with the Father and continued with what He was sent to do. Jesus knew what His Father wanted was best for everyone. Aren’t you glad the Father looked at the whole picture and chose not to take the cup away from Jesus? If the Father had prevented Jesus’ suffering, there would be no hope for us! Jesus approached the Father as we all should in prayer — persistently but politely asking for our wants and needs while submitting to God’s overall wisdom regarding the situation.
Imagine how the scenario with my grandson would have ended differently if he had chosen to pout after his mother’s first apparent no. Or what do you think would have happened if he started whining or throwing a temper tantrum when his request wasn’t granted immediately? You can be sure that both responses would have resulted in his being unable to watch a video about tractors.
Now, imagine getting ice cream wasn’t the most fun thing my daughter had planned for the day. What if, after we had ice cream, we planned to go to the fair to see real tractors that my grandson could touch, sit on, and pretend to drive? Certainly, that would have been more to his liking than watching a video about the thing he loves. What if, in answer to his original question, my daughter had said, “No, I have something better planned”? Though it is a lot to expect from a two year old, I hope he would have reacted politely, expecting his mother to keep her promise. If my grandson then chose to pout, whine, or throw a temper tantrum, instead of looking at any tractors, I have the feeling he would have ended up going home for a nap.
How often do we miss out on all God has planned for us because we quit asking shortly after what seems like denial? Other times, we go in the opposite direction and throw a spiritual temper tantrum, demanding our own way. If we take this approach, we might get what we want, but we won’t end up with God’s best for us. May we have enough faith in God’s character never to cease to ask and to listen attentively for His response. May we adjust our demands to His responses and cordially ask again and again until His will is done in our lives. May we learn to be faithfully persistent in our prayers.
This article was originally published in Issue 52.
For more content, explore our article collection.