Hope in Extended Singleness
By ANNIE WESCHE
Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.
Psalm 38:9
The calming scent of cedar filled the room as I slowly lifted the heavy lid of the wooden chest. It had likely been more than ten years since I last looked inside. I drew out the familiar pink and white baby blanket resting on top and held it close, imagining how my dear mum had wrapped me up countless times in its pillowy folds and nestled me in her arms. Setting it in my lap, I reached back into the chest, picked up a few small souvenirs from my travels, and laid them to the side. I continued navigating through various keepsakes when my eyes landed upon a small, linen box. As I reached for it, a knowing smile appeared on my face. Quickly untying the simple bow that held it closed, I lifted the lid to see several envelopes that had been placed inside throughout the years — each one holding a love letter to my future husband.
Sitting on the floor, I leaned back against my bed and closed my eyes. My heart held a mixture of joy and heartache as I thought of when these letters had been written with such youthful expectancy. I imagined what a much younger me would have thought if she would have known how long she’d be waiting for her prayers to be answered. Oh Lord, it was Your grace to me that I didn’t know the wait would be this long.
I had begun writing those letters a short time after I surrendered my life to Christ at the age of 13. And falling in love with Jesus had given me vision for a Christ-centered, God-glorifying, earthly love story — one that followed a heavenly pattern of patience, honor, purity, selflessness, faithfulness, and Christlike love rather than the patterns of worldly romance.
As I sat in the quiet solitude, I poured out my heart to my First Love. Jesus, Your plans for my life have been so different from what I thought they would be. I never imagined I would still be single at this age. All these years of hoping, praying, and waiting … You say if we delight ourselves in You, You will shape and fashion the dreams that fill our heart. And those dreams of having a husband and family have only grown.
Were it not for beholding Your faithfulness again and again, experiencing Your wonderful purposes and plans throughout my life, and having my hope anchored in You — I would have lost heart long ago. But I have known Your unfailing goodness!
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13
As I continued to pray, tears began to well up — not from disappointment or despair, but from a fresh realization of how wonderfully rich life is with Christ. I thought of the profound joy I have in knowing Jesus, all the goodness that God has lavished on me, and the opportunities He has given in my single years — many of which were possible because I was single: a Bible college student in England, a traveling photographer for an adoption agency, a foster mum in Haiti for more than two years, a full-time caregiver for my mum before she went to be with Jesus…
Oh, Father, thank You for the story You are writing for me! Thank You for growing me, leading me, and loving me each day of my life. It will always be more than enough to know You and to be known and loved by You. Even when I find myself not understanding Your ways, even when the waiting is hard, even as I watch so many around me move forward into the things I myself hope for, even when I fear growing “too old” for my dreams … You are good. You are trustworthy. What You give and what You withhold from me flow from Your wisdom and goodness. Thank You for caring for my heart with all its desires and dreams. God, I want Your plans for my life.
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Yes, my life has unfolded so differently from what my younger self imagined. And even though I have desires yet to be fulfilled, my hope is not dimmed that the Lord knows my heart and is hearing my prayers, guiding my steps, and working out His best for me. His Word assures me of this. And as I wait upon the Lord, I take joy that He has given me a life to live for Him, filled with purpose each and every day.
Perhaps you are reading this and feel that your own years of singleness are more than you would have hoped. If so, I’d love to share with you some of the key truths that have continually directed and comforted my heart. I pray that God would use them to encourage you, as only He can.
My desires are safe in His hands.
Give your dreams and desires continually to Jesus. Don’t allow your heart to grow fearful, resentful, weary, or bitter. Remember that you have set your life (and your dreams and desires) into the very hands that were pierced for you. He cares for you like no other. His power is unlimited, His resources are endless, His wisdom is perfect, His love for you is unmatched, and His plans for you are good. How our own dreams must pale in comparison to what He desires to unfold for us!
Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You. Psalm 38:9
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. Lamentations 3:25
“If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though
it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine!” – Elisabeth Elliot
“It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill
the desires which He creates.” – Amy Carmichael
Today is rich with purpose.
What are the circumstances, responsibilities, and people God has entrusted to me today? Wherever He has placed me, I have a high calling to walk in righteousness, obedience, and faithfulness. There is nothing mundane or wasted when done for Him. There are no “filler” or “standby” seasons as we wait for our dreams to be fulfilled. Each day is an entrusted gift. Each day we can bring Him joy and glory. Each day is full of opportunities to impact others and invest in eternity. And each day offers further preparation for the plans He has in store for me.
So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
“Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.” – Corrie ten Boom
Wait for His best.
Do I trust that He is truly good? Do I trust that He knows what I need, far better than I do? Is His timing not full of purpose? God’s Word is replete with stories of the evidence of His goodness, wisdom, purpose, and choice timing in unfolding His plans for His people. And I know that one day, when I meet the man God has for me, every bit of the wait will have been worth it. And every part of the journey for both of us, was making us ready for His best.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
He has made everything beautiful in its time… Ecclesiastes 3:11a
“I am full of hope that when God delays in fulfilling our little thoughts, it is to leave Himself room to work out His great ones.” – Lilias Trotter
“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” – Jim Elliot
“God never denies us our heart’s desire except to give us something better.” – Elisabeth Elliot
He is my First Love.
There is no greater love story than the one I have with Christ. Loving, knowing, and serving Him is the best investment I will ever make with my time and affections. I am loved with an everlasting love. I am rescued and redeemed, known and cherished, set apart to be His. With Him is abundance, security, rest, and purpose. He is always with me — inviting me to draw near to Him, speak with Him, and learn from Him. He carries me when I am weary, He strengthens me when I am weak, He hears me when I cry, He comforts me when I am broken, He assures me when I am afraid, and He provides for my needs. He protects me, fights for me, intercedes for me, and guides me with His Word. He is my wellspring of endless joy!
Loving Him first will be the greatest way I can prepare to love others well. And if marriage is not what God has for me? His matchless love truly can satisfy the longing soul — He will always be more than enough. And should the blessing of marriage and children be given, being fulfilled in Him will still and always be my heart’s greatest need.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5
He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry with goodness. Psalm 107:9
“Life is never lonely or empty if we keep Him where He must be, in first place.” – Amy Carmichael
“My heart is taken with Christ, it is ravished with His love; my soul is burning, my soul is beating toward Christ. Oh, none but Christ, none but Christ! I cannot live in myself, I cannot live in my duties, I cannot live in external privileges, I cannot live in outward mercies; I can only live in Christ, who is my life, my love, my joy, my crown, my All in all. Oh, the more I come to know Him in His natures, in His names, in His offices, in His discoveries, in His visits, in His beauties, the more I find my heart and affections to prize Christ, to run after Christ, to be affected with Christ, and to be wonderfully endeared to Christ!” – Thomas Brooks
This article was originally published in Issue 47.
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