An Unexpectedly Simple Solution
She had high ideals for her future husband. With a booklet full of verbose depictions of him beneath her pillow, she would spend endless hours pondering what her future husband might be like. Would he have blue or brown eyes? What would they name the children they would one day have? Where would they live? Her time was spent trying to unravel the mystery of how and when this Prince Charming was going to come swooping into her life and carry her away to happily ever after.
I have known several young women like this, and I always wondered if this was really what it meant for a young woman to love and honor her future husband.
Proverbs 31:12 says, “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” God makes it clear that not only are women called to do their husbands good after they are married, but they are also exhorted to show honor to their husbands even before they have set eyes on the man God has for them. And yet, should a young woman really spend every spare moment pining after her future husband?
I would propose that, though it is important for a woman to know the type of man she ought to marry and to be able to discern between a true man of God and a self-centered, carnal man, spending endless time thinking of him isn’t what will truly equip her to honor and love him.
So exactly how does a woman “love her husband now” without developing an unhealthy fixation upon her romantic dreams? I believe it starts with meditating upon God’s Word day and night so that she might know Christ’s character and nature. As she gazes upon the face of Jesus, His radiance and beauty will be reflected in and through her life, and she will learn to love with His love. She must place her full dependence upon Jesus Christ and find her everything in Him. It is then, and only then, when she is seeking the Kingdom of Heaven first and foremost, that she is able to do her future husband good. And, as a man, it is only when I build my life around Jesus Christ that I am truly capable of loving and honoring my future wife in the same manner Christ loves His Bride.
It is actually very simple: The way to show honor to our future spouse is to place God before all and above all. When God is in His rightful place in our lives, honoring our future spouse will be the natural result.
As a Christian man, I would like to share a few practical ideas with you for doing your husband good even now, as an outflow of your relationship with Jesus Christ.
The moments of your day:
Where you spend your time reveals the object of your devotion. A young woman who has learned how to utilize every moment of her day wisely will make an excellent wife. How do you spend your moments? Are you devoted to earthly things? Or is your full devotion and affection placed upon the Lord? A young lady can honor both the Lord and her future spouse by bringing structure and discipline into her life, and spending her time on God’s priorities rather than on her own whims.
Keeping emotions in check:
Emotions are not inherently wrong, but every set apart girl needs to learn how to bring her feelings and desires under the control of God’s Spirit. If you heed the voice of emotion and allow it to control or guide your life while unmarried, it will hinder your relationship with Christ, and eventually wreak havoc upon your marriage. Because learning to restrain your emotions is a maturing process that takes time, it is essential to begin while you are single. Your future husband will highly esteem you for purposing to stand firm upon the Rock of God’s Word rather than allowing wavering emotions and feelings govern your life.
Putting Christ first:
When the Lord is your singular aim and focus, your life will press your husband closer to Jesus. When you marry, it is important that your life is constantly driving your husband to his knees in servitude and worship of the Lord. Ask God to do such a work in your daily life that others would be convicted even now if they were to observe your most hidden actions, words, and thoughts. If you are showcasing the glory and majesty of King Jesus in every area of your life, you will ultimately be serving and honoring your future husband. Jesus Christ must always come before your husband. Whether single or married, the Lord must be the first Beloved of your life.
The power of prayer:
Hudson Taylor once said, “It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone.” So pray — earnestly seeking the Lord on your future husband’s behalf. Remember that, until you have met your future husband, prayer is the only means you have of impacting his life; but don’t be disheartened — prayer is a mighty and trustworthy means to strengthen and uphold the saints of God.
Serving your family:
Growing up, my mom always told me that the way I treated those at home was how I would ultimately treat my future spouse. Most of us have a strong dislike for that statement because it incriminates us — but it does contain truth. If you do not serve those in your life now, how do you expect to suddenly learn what it means to be a faithful servant in marriage? Show deference to those around you with a figurative towel and basin in your hand, and, as a result, you will be prepared to serve and love your husband in a manner which befits a woman fully given to the Lord.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ, allow Him to conform you into His image in all things, and He will enable you to honor and serve your future husband. Rest in the fact that the Lord will watch over those who put their trust in Him. He cares about your future marriage, and while you seek the Kingdom of Heaven, He will be forming your future husband after His own heart.
In human strength, you will never be able to do your future husband good. Allow Christ to be the King of kings in every facet of your life and He will begin to showcase His life in and through you. Make Jesus Christ your everything, and you will surely do your husband good “all the days” of your life.