My body had been sounding an alarm that something was seriously off, and my symptoms were growing increasingly strange. What began as a small rash had grown into an unsettling set of problems: numbness in my toes, tingling in my hands and feet, sharp and quick bursts of nerve pain throughout my body — it felt like my nervous system had been turned up to high. While laying down, my heart would pound and I felt like I was breathing through a filter.
My anxiety was rising as I rifled through every possible place I could think of. After two days of searching, I was still coming up empty-handed. I dug around in the garage, in my junk drawer, in the pile of hardware, in the purse I had worn to the store to measure for a new hinge … everywhere I could think of.
The lovely, innocent-looking teenaged girl fidgeted nervously as she shared her heartbreaking story on camera, hesitantly answering questions posed by an off-screen reporter. The account she shared was true, but so disturbing it was almost hard to believe.
I had reached a breaking point. I felt spent, desperate even. Both my body and soul were at a point of exhaustion. How much longer, Lord?, I cried within.
The late afternoon sun shone joyfully as I hovered over my garden starter trays, seeds cradled in the palm of my hand. It was one of those birth-of-spring days when summer-lovers like me are unwittingly taken by daydreams of summertime dancing through our minds, seemingly gaining momentum with each passing glitter of sunlight.
I have had to wait a long time for many things I yearned for, as I’m sure you have! My husband and I waited nine long years of marriage to have children, 13 long years to experience one natural pregnancy, 14 years to own the house we longed for, and the list could go on. And I’m absolutely certain that there will be more waiting in our future. Why?
Winding through a maze of cinder block houses on dirt roads which followed no distinguishable order, I kept pace a small distance behind my missionary friends. As we walked through the labyrinth of multicolored homes, free-roaming cattle, burning trash, and playing children, I had a strange realization. I had made several trips to Haiti, but this was the first time I genuinely started to feel at home.
Leslie finishes her Navigating Modern Christianity series this week with a soul-stirring reminder about the importance of making Jesus our North Star…
While it’s easy to point the finger at the apathy we see in the Church at large, God often wants change to begin within us…