How God Turns Our Suffering Into Strength
By HEATHER COFER
It was a beautiful, early morning in June and the cheerful sounds of my one year old thump-thumping down the stairs caused me to cease my vain attempts at getting just a little more sleep. I would say I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of the bed, but the process of sitting up was arduous — I was seven months pregnant with twins, and the adjectives “slow” and “painful” applied to nearly every movement. That morning was no exception. I was measuring bigger than I ever had in pregnancy, and sleep was elusive due to significant nerve pain caused by the stretching of my belly to accommodate this double bundle. I was weary in every way.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this for seven more weeks,” I’d sobbed to my husband just the day before. But what I didn’t know then was that shortly after getting myself out of bed that Monday morning, we would meet our baby girls — much sooner than anticipated. After realizing something wasn’t right, we rushed to the hospital, went through a slew of tests, were transferred to another hospital, and soon our girls were delivered via a whirlwind C-section.
This began a seven-week journey with our babies in the NICU. I went into it on a high of relief that they were alive (one baby almost died), but it didn’t take long for reality to set in — the toll of recovery from an emergency C-section, being torn between my babies at the hospital and my kids at home, feeling the isolation that came from the necessity of this “new normal,” and the wave of postpartum hormones to top it all off. There were days I was overcome with the intensity of it all, tears flowing unbidden over and over. Several times I felt the cry behind my lips wanting to burst forth, “It’s too much — I can’t do this anymore!” But I had no choice.
A couple of weeks into the journey as I was making the familiar daily drive to the hospital, the Lord encouraged my heart with this thought: Press in; press into the difficulty. Resisting will only hurt more and hinder your growth. This painful tool chosen by the Lord is what He wants to use to mature, strengthen, and make you more like Him. It’s a spiritual boot camp for your soul.
Along with this thought, passages of Scripture came to mind that illuminated the truth of this more brightly in my mind’s eye. And holding fast to these truths — resolving to press in rather than resist — did indeed become an avenue through which the Lord provided grace to continue pressing toward the finish line of bringing the girls home and then shifted to a new season of intensity of caring for tiny twins day and night, along with all the other unexpected intensities we encountered during that stretch.
Boot Camp for the Soul
Times of difficulty are indeed difficult. There can be many means by which difficulty can come into our lives: physical suffering, relational fractures, unexpected tragedies, the loss of a loved one — the list goes on. Sometimes these are somewhat (or fully) due to the consequences of sin on our part or someone else’s, and sometimes they’re simply part of the reality of living in a broken world. Regardless of where they originate, they bring us to a decision point. Our knee-jerk reaction is usually to try to avoid the pain and get out of it as fast as we can. The problem with this is that we usually can’t avoid the pain, and so we begin to resent our circumstances or those who might have put us there.
But the Bible gives us another way to view these circumstances that actually brings hope beyond the pain they may be causing us today. The difficulties we face are never wasted by God in the lives of those who love Him.
You’ve likely heard Romans 8:28 many times: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
What a glorious truth this is. Now, sometimes this verse is brought to our attention smack dab in the midst of pain as a way of rushing through the messiness to the good part or of diminishing the difficulty we’re walking through. But this verse isn’t intended to be viewed that way. Yes, it’s to give us hope, but this hope doesn’t negate the struggle — it’s the anchor that holds us through the very real difficulty we’re facing. In other words, God can take even this and use it for our good.
Romans 5:3–5 says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
This is where the boot camp illustration comes in. No one denies that boot camp is hard. It’s intended to break you down and push you to your limits. But the end goal of this is growing and strengthening you. It’s pain that has a purpose. It builds endurance and capacity.
We could also use the example of athletic training. Lifting weights and running miles don’t feel good. They require effort and often bring pain. But again, it’s for a purpose that goes beyond the pain. And there isn’t any physical growth apart from this discomfort.
Now, we don’t usually sign up for the trials that this life brings us. But if God allows them, this is how He desires to use them. The New Testament is peppered with references to the Christian life being like a battle and Christians being soldiers, so it seems apt to consider trials in this light. (See Ephesians 6:10–20; Philippians 2:25; 2 Timothy 2:3, 4:7.) There are also references likening this life to athletic training. (See Hebrews 12:1.) God is using hardship to strip away selfishness and pride, and He’s giving us opportunities to see our weakness so that we can learn to be strong in His strength. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9–10.) If, in faith, we can look past the pain of today to Him and His promises, we will stop fighting the pain and press in by His grace instead.
How do we practically put this into action when we feel overcome by grief or pain or trials? It will take various forms, but here are three basic ways we can begin to embrace whatever growth the Lord wants to bring through these circumstances. All of these are found in 1 Thessalonians 5:1–24 and end with a declaration of what God will do for His people.
Worship and Prayer
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16–17
Worship and communion with the Lord through prayer are spiritual lifelines during a time of trial. Often, as I drove to the hospital, I would turn on songs filled with truths from Scripture and let the words, encased in the beauty of music, soak into my heart. And as I did, prayers would often come to my mind and lips — sometimes praise, sometimes petition, sometimes thanks, sometimes cries of agony not fully formed with words. I knew He alone could keep me from throwing up my hands in frustration or buckling under the weight of this trial that stretched me in every way.
Our deep need for worship and prayer is the same for every believer. It doesn’t remove the pain, but it keeps us tethered to His love and kindness in the midst of it, keeping our souls at rest in Him and what He is doing.
Give Thanks
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
A phrase that kept running through my mind all through that NICU season was, “Give thanks like
your life depends on it.” It was so easy to see the blaring negatives and, on top of that, to be extra sensitive due to physical pain and adjusting hormones. So giving thanks for anything and everything became a protection for my heart. It also became a window through which I could more easily see glimpses of what the Lord was doing — how He was sustaining me, what opportunities He was giving me to encourage the medical staff, and the unexpected time I had for worship and prayer during my daily drives, just to name a few. I certainly didn’t practice this perfectly, and none of us ever will. But it helps us keep our grasp on the reality that God is good, and He’s working for our good.
Don’t Give in to Evil
Abstain from every form of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22
In short, “evil“ is everything that isn’t good or right according to the Bible.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m walking through a trial it’s so tempting to succumb to the lie that I have a pass to be a little less obedient to the things God commands His children — I can be a tad selfish, or I can be somewhat snappy, or grumble just a little, or hold onto a teensy bit of bitterness over that insensitive comment. But this is exactly the trap the enemy wants us to walk into! It’s actually obedience powered by His grace that gives us the ability to endure, to grow in grace, and to have peace and joy in the midst of whatever battle we’re in.
Participating in evil puts us into an even more vulnerable place than we were before because we’re left open to deception about who God is and what He’s doing through the suffering. His promises are not out of reach of those who suffer — they are for those who suffer. As we take our cares to Him and obey in faith, He will take care of us and use all of it for our good.
Jesus told His disciples the night before He was crucified, “I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). These words should still hold significant comfort for us today. Jesus went on to conquer sin and death through His death so that we might have eternal hope in Him. His Spirit has been given to us so that we have everything we need today to grow and endure in the midst of the hardship this side of Heaven. And He’s coming back one day to make all things new.
So as we wait and navigate through the “boot camps” of this life, let us keep our eyes firmly fixed upon Him, asking Him to help us endure with joy — knowing He counts every tear and will redeem each moment of struggle for our good and His glory.
This article was originally published in Issue 49.
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